Monday, July 14, 2014

An Almost 5-Game Winning Streak

Nice job by HH and BroHo today in an 11-0 win. The loss on Saturday still kills me though--we could have gone into the break on a 5-gamer.

So the first half ends with us 5 back of the Yanks and 10 back of first place in the loss column. The perfect set-up to a second-half funtime comeback. And we start at home against the Royals, just like in the Morgan's Magic season of 1988. I was lucky enough to be at that doubleheader that started all the fun that year.

I can't believe all the original Ramones are dead now, with the passing of Tommy. Joey and Dee Dee died two and three years before I started this blog, but I see I mentioned Johnny's death here back in 2004. Note: the game I said I'd be going to in The Bronx the next night was that classic 9/17/04 Mariano-blown "catch the ball!" game. That night was one of my favorite baseball game experiences.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Alex From Stroh's...

Fine fine win last night against the blind/deaf school. VaZQuez with a huge 3-run half dong, and two other hits, that guy knows what he's doing out there. I won't say anything about the Rish/Lyons announcing combo because there's just not enough time. That play by Badenhop was incredible, wish they'd given it more credit. I didn't stay up for the post-game but hopefully they played it a million more times at full and half speed and notified the WebGems department if that exists.

(Okay I just went to and that highlight popped right up on the video player thing, so by all means go check it out.)

Friday, July 11, 2014

The Perfectly Slotted Red Sox Game

Out of work at 5. Game had started at 4. Had Castig on way home. Took 1 hour and 15 minutes to get home. Normally takes 37. But the "working in Newport" experience is vastly different in the summer months. Traffic doubles with every five degrees the temp rises. Heard us go from being no-hit to winning in car. Got home, saw last three innings and Kim and I would then listen to Koji wrap it up on the way to the Providence outdoor movie, Adaptation. But as we passed the strip clubs, he blew it. Got our Gordito Burrito and headed back to car, hoping it was still tied. It was. While looking for parking for the movie, heard the winning hit, our second walk-off win (Castig always says it correctly unlike Don and the rest of the entire world) in as many days. Then watched the brilliant Adaptation. Fuckin' Cooper. Fuckin' Cox. Fuckin' Cage times 2, as fuckin' Kauffman times 2. Just as deep as Eternal Sunshine, but on the funny end of the spectrum as opposed to the serious. But both great just the same. Got home, lit'rally heard just the words "Yanks lose 9-3" as I flipped on some sports channel. Also saw before the screen changed that Tanaka is out at least 6 weeks. Fun stuff.

So my plan of "us and Baltimore" fighting it out at the end is starting to take shape. At least in my mind. The Jays are falling, the Yanks are a bus with no wheels, and while the Rays started doing better, they were still just too far back for it to matter. Which is probably what they're saying about us, considering they're actually still ahead of us, but hey, who are the world champs here? We're gonna have a great September as all these young guys become a somewhat well to well-oiled machine. Will our July and August be good enough to make that September matter? It's an easy division, we just gotta keep "plugging" along for the time being. This can be done!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Sox Win 2013-y Game

This was a fun one, hopefully you didn't give up on it. We were down 4-0 at Sweet Caroline time, and it felt like we were down by more than that. Mookie Betts started the inning by beating out a grounder to short, and when he saw nobody at second base, he bolted. An infield double! Remy said it was all the fans had had to cheer about, as he inexplicably forgot about Jackie Bradley's inCREDible catch in center earlier. Two outs later, Sale was taken out at 107 pitches. The next three dudes went: single, double, walk, double. So it was 4-3 White Sox going to the ninth.

Koji, who, awesomely, replaced the injured Tanaka on the All-Star team today (Why the balls wasn't he on there in the first place, I mean what the crudding crud?), shut 'em down and we went to the bottom of the 9th, down by 1. With one down, Mookie got hit by a pitch. And when Nava's deep fly took a high hop off the scoreboard in left center, you knew Mookie would be racing all the way around. Tied. Next batter is Kelly LeBrock Holt (See how I tied in both cinematic ballplayers who came out of nowhere to become a legend AND supermodels? In fact, the "Le" could represent both "LeBrock" and the first two letters of "Leak," as if Kelly Leak went crashing into Brock Holt creating a beautiful Kelly LeBrock. Holt.), and he lines one into right. Nava scores and it's over. We win.

Side note: When that ball hit Gomes in the nose in left field, how was it that Remy didn't realize he got hit at all until after the replay? Did he think the ball bounced off the wall and took a 90-degree turn to the left?

Side note 2: Indians squandered one against the Yanks. I just wasted hours of my life watching it into the 14th inning. But they're baked scrod anyway, what with their whole rotation on the DL including the one guy who's been good so far. And no hitting and whatnot.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

I Must Break You

The Yankees' Ivan Drago, Tanaka, is headed home for an MRI and has been placed on the DL. Nice to see the lights dimmed on their one bright spot, at least for now. And CC may be done too. It's a shame, I kinda liked watching him drag his droopy derriere onto the diamond.

In other news, you can say goodbye to AJ Pierzynski. The man with the golden arm has been called up. And with Holt starting at short tonight, maybe the Stephen Drew self-imposed prison sentence is over!

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Monday, July 07, 2014

I Can't Believe What I Just Didn't See

Kim and I decided to do a spur/moment Northampton trip yesterday. So we had the game on in the car, heard us cut it to 2-1, then heard it go to 3-1 before flipping it off for a while. Just before arriving at our desto, we heard the Ross dong. Was excited that it was close again...until Castig said "and it's six to two Baltimore." Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

So we hang out in lovely Northampton, walk around Smith, eat at this place called Mulino's which had a good eggplant thing, do our usual stop at the coffee shop, get some Key lime pie, and head home. Music in the car, and a long circular conversation about consciousness and life and dying and reincarnation and neurons firing and all that. Got home and decided to watch this movie called The Cruise about an eccentric tour bus host. Went to bed. About to fall asleep.

Oh right, let's check that final score. I had this thought that went "watch they actually came back to tie it only to lose in extra innings." You know I'm a Positive Poncherello, but I guess I'd just chalked this one up already, so instead of "come on, 7-6 Red Sox, come on 7-6 Red Sox!" I just had that one brief negative thought.

And there it was. I got that feeling you can only get when you've accidentally predicted the nearly impossible worst and then you find out it happened just like that. 7-6 Orioles in 12 innings. I then read the article about how all the runs I'd missed on both sides came on squeakily deakily bingles and how baseball is a game of centi-inches and that none of this stuff could have possibly happened but it all did.

6-2 Orioles would have been so much easier to deal with....

Saturday, July 05, 2014

Sox Beat First-Place O's

Herrera knocks in Gomes in the bottom of the ninth in this battle of the two teams that will duke it out for the AL East title this year, once the Jays and Yanks are out of it. Lester gave up 0 earned runs. Big win for us. Lackey goes tonight in game 2.

Thursday, July 03, 2014

Sox Bats Break Out For Nine Runs!

But Sox arms give up sixteen. And we're swept by the Chicago Cubs. Jesus, I see now in the box the Cubs only had one zero, in Rizzo's RBI column. Other than that, all nine guys had at least a run, a hit, and a ribbie.

As long as we got shelled anyway, it was good to see Mike Olt hit his first Fenway dong. I told you in 2011 about how my mom's neighbor is his aunt--he's a born/raised Connecticut guy. I heard the homer in the car, but I didn't hear the stuffed-up Castig say anything about his and my fellow Connexecutioner. And my mom tells me Remy was losing his tooth around that time.

Mookie also donged, the first of his career.

And it's been fun watching the Yanks lose and lose and lose some more--they've lost 5 in a row and 9 of 11, and are under .500 this late in the season for just the second time since 1995. And we're the defending champs. So how could I not say life is good, all droughts considered?

I had Suzyn and John on today between shifts, and Suzyn was talking about that play where Papi started walking to first early on ball four. Here's how she put it: "[the Cubs] put the (intentional walk) signal on and he walked to first base--he didn't even stand there." John says "odd," and then Suzyn adds, "I guess he came back, I just saw that part, he was walking down and everyone was laughing." I mean Jesus Fuck, you can't just say a bunch of shit on the air when you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. By no means did Papi see that they were intentionally walking him and immediately walk to first thinking the ump would just allow them to skip four pitches or let them occur while he watched from first base. It wasn't even an intentional walk anyway. The fact that some people thought that was "controversial" was bad enough without having other people tell the story from the last chair in a game of fucking telephone. If you wanna hear it, it's at the 4:00:30 mark on Gameday Audio.

Speaking of announcers I'm not fond of, did you hear Dave O'Brien's call of Napoli's dong off Tanaka the other night? That was a jump-around-the-room moment, as the homer broke the tie with two outs and two strikes in the ninth, yet O'Brien called it like it was a meaningless home run!

And did you hear Remy try to say Ernie Banks's famous line a couple nights ago? Let's just say he didn't get it right. Even George Costanza got it right when he was hired by the Yankees!

In "NESN cameramen showing ladyparts" news, last night we had them showing a female fan in a skirt, who promptly crossed her legs verrrry slowly as Don read a PawSox promo, leading to silence from him and Remy. There was minor snickering when they talked again, but they were smart enough to not say anything to get them fired. Then tonight, we had two girls start to hug, only to have one pull away, leading the other to mysteriously put the ball she was holding down her shirt, exposing a whole lotta skin. Camera lingered before they cut away, then Remy gave it an "ohhh" before they both started stifling giggles. Eventually one did the Muttley laugh. I may post video. (Of the second incident only!)

Tuesday, July 01, 2014


Again, I don't know whether to blame NESN for not just going right to the spot above and pausing it like I was able to do at home, leaving Remy and Don to speculate based on nothing and say "oh it looks like a tie," and leaving me to wonder if "New York" is hearing this and going, "yeah, I can't tell either, let's not even pause it or wait to see if THEY pause it, let's just LET THE GAME END on this play," or whether to blame the secret umpire room for not just using all the angles, pausing them, and then telling the helpless field umps exactly what happened.

A second after Don said, "this could take a while," New York took a steamin' ump on the game, ending it right there. What stinks is that had the guy said safe initially, they'd probably keep it that way. What stinks more is that he was safe and I have visual proof right here, and I'm just some guy.

Of course, in April, Farrell said he was told the ball just has to be inside the rim of the glove, while ESPN's announcers told us it has to hit the back of the glove and be actually caught for it to be a "catch." So who the fuck knows anyway. But I think everyone involved would be more comfortable with the replay people at least taking their time on a play that decides a game.

Momentum Ends With Something Something

The B news: We almost get no-hit by the Cubs and lose 2-0.

The G news: Yanks lose at home in 12, their 7th loss in 9 games; we're still playing the Cubs so I assume their next two starters will stink and we'll easily win both games; and Kim and I just won an amount of money on a scratch-off that's big enough to dance around the room over, but small enough where the mafia won't even notice! So it's been a good night overall!

Monday, June 30, 2014

Workplace Willy

On June 18th, we finished a sweep of the Twins, and headed out on a 10-game road trip 6.5 games out of first place.

That road trip is over, and despite the fact we lost 6 of the first 8 games on it, we now sit 6 games out of first.

Tonight's game got a little iffy in the middle, but we win it 8-5 and take 2 of 3 from the Yanks. Mookie Betts aka Wilson Wagers made his debut and was 1 for 3 with a walk.

Now it's a long homestand, starting with the last-place Cubs. We're very much alive in the East as we head into July!

Stat of the something: At around the halfway point, only three teams in the American League are more than three games over .500 at home.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Chief Tanak-A-Homa

With the packed house (the 2,000 Yankee fans left) cheering for the final strike (because the scoreboard that goes around the stadium said "2 Strikes" and showed clapping hands, a fact TV networks love to ignore since about 1976, as they conveniently avoid showing the board while showing the fans--know what's funny? When the person in charge forgets to put the graphic up and all the Yankee fans just sit there silent--see the Ortiz at bat in the 9th the night before. Note: They never forget the PC Richards whistle ad after a K. Where was I....), with two outs in the 9th and the score tied, Mike Napoli hit a laser-dong off the Yanks' new robot pitcher. Koji OTTed them in the bottom half, and the Red Sox grabbed a W.

Fox blamed the whole thing on the fact that they should have pitched around Napoli and gone after Drew. Forget the fact that Tanaka, who has already been crowned Cy Young, gave up the home run in the first place. He'd struck the guy out twice too. Suddenly the smart thing in a complete game is to pitch around the go-ahead run? Harold Reynolds even called it stupid pitching, because he saw Lester beat Verlander one time. ????????????????????????????????????

Did I mention how sweet it was that they were all standing and clapping and getting ready for the manifest destiny of some groundout-heavy game-winning rally in the bottom of the ninth, and we totally knocked a dong off of their Cy Young guy and won? And are defending world champions? As are the LA Kings? See what I did there? Apologies to Yankee fans who happen to be Devils fans or Islanders fans or any-other-team-fans. Actually no apologies because you should have gotten a smirk out of that line anyway, though overall you're still sad about Tanaka totally giving up a 9th-inning dong to lose the game tonight.

And did you see Solarte pull a Jeter and cheat a double play out of a line drive? Announcers could have talked more about that but they didn't. And on that one replay where Pedroia did the swimmy slide, didn't you think it was inconclusive? But they changed it anyway, very quickly, and I still wonder if the umps actually hear the announcers going "out" and influencing them, and/or if they watch angles of their own choosing or just watch the TV feed? And by umps I mean the one possible lazy and/or too-busy-texting-to-really-dissect-it umps who sits in the room on Park Ave. I mean how can you tell the tag is on a guy when the glove is in front of the leg? How do you know there isn't space in between? All this while focusing along with the network on said glove and assuming the hand hasn't touched the base yet when it's actually shielded by the fielder's leg? Whatever, we won. But still. Fix this crap.

Contest update: Unless the Red Sox score 36 runs in the next two days, my mom will win the "team runs in June" portion of the contest. And unless Shane Victorino miraculously returns and scores four runs in the next two days, Kim aka Dewey & Co. will win the "Victorino runs in June" portion. Kim apologized for getting her entry in with an hour and a half left in May, but she should have been anti-apologizing for waiting as long as possible before making a prediction. With Shane on the DL by then, she made a very smart guess of 2, and the guy didn't play a down all month. So congrats to Mom and Kim, you'll get your books soon.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Defending World Champs Lose

That was a 2014-y night. Sox don't hit, don't score. We may have to pull a Workplace Willy in this series. That's during a Sox-Yanks weekend series where one team dominates early but the other wins on Sunday at the very least, allowing that team's fans to wear the gear proudly on Monday. (Remember, I'm from Connecticut.)

OPS Plus Drew Equals Droops

OPS+ shows how a player is doing (on-base and slugging-wise) compared to the rest of the league. An OPS+ of 100 means you're exactly average. For example, Papi, despite a low batting average, will always get his dongs, and right now has an OPS+ of 132. Pedroia, who normally sits well above 100, is at 99 right now. Jackie Bradley, who has had his troubles with major league pitching, is way down the ladder at 66. Do you know what Stephen Drew's OPS+ is?

Ineffective yet expensive drum roll, please...

Negative 10! This guy's the anti-Bo Derek!

Still very confused about why we even thought about paying this guy all this money, especially when the one thing we needed was offense. (Damn you, Dempster!)

By the way, on June 1st, I noted here that it was a shame that the media signed Drew. A week later, Peter Gammons came right out and said he wondered if a media push helped to bring Drew back, and also agreed with me that it was an unnecessary/horrible move. Now maybe saying "see, Peter Gammons agrees with me" in 2014 actually makes me seem more crazy, but hey, the guy's a Hall of Famer (or something), and is in the actual media, so I'm gonna go ahead and say I gained some credibility with that comment I made. Unlike Gammons, though, I made my comment before Drew had played any games, while he waited until he'd had a few 0-fers.

Thursday, June 26, 2014


Nice job by HH last night. Efficient as a mofo. Koji makes it close in the 9th but gets the save. Know what I can't have? Eck talking over plays. And Drew's 0-fer streak is now at...some number above 20, I can't keep track anymore.

On to The Bronx for the weekend.

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